Penny

The young Penelope gives us a smile.

Penelope and Ryn

Ryn and Penny share a private joke.

Penny and mummy

Whilst mummy poses, Penny starts wondering what the fuss is all about.

Mother of the Bride

The mother of the bride, taking a photo. Of, as I recall, a wall.

Matt, camera

Matt taking a photo. He is now technically now a brother-in-law, although if you expect me to offer a relationship connection for everyone that turned up, you can go and... well, you know. Go.

Matthew and George

Matthew and George wait for the ceremony. I believe at this point the groom (yes I'm fully aware that's me) hadn't arrived yet.

The groom is here

Left to right: best man, groom, father of groom, brother of groom. They are admiring a camera.

In the reception room

The groom patiently waits for his bride.

The groom

The groom nervously waits for his bride.

Sssshh

Penelope attempts to quiet her brother.

The happy couple

Happy. Definitely happy.

George

George seems to be enjoying things so far.

The happy couple

Paparazzi

So many people, so many cameras.

Lewis

Lewis gets in on the whole paparazzi thing. His attempt to sell the pictures to the Telegraph were largely unsuccessful.

Signing the Register

Ah, a more traditional photo op.

A married kiss

Another traditional photo op.

Friends

Best man and best, um, Daniel, surround the bride and groom for a photo.

Looking at the wrong camera

I very similar photo as before, only from a very slightly different angle. What James and Daniel don't realise is that, due to a slight clerical error, they are actually now legally married due to their names being on the wedding register.

Groom

The groom looks proudly at his wife.

Getting the boot

Rob tries to hurry his wife.

Confetti

The confetti flies over the happy couple. Either that, or something flew into a tree nearby.

Rob & Holly

Probably my favourite picture of the wedding I've seen so far.

Happy Couple

The best man gets in on the whole confetti throwing.

...Still a happy couple

The confetti assault continues.

A brief pause

The best man prepares for the 'bouncer' portion of his responsibilities.

Happy bride

More confetti.

Another side of the happy couple

I guess this one adds context or something.

Astrid

Astrid gets a go at the confetti flinging, only her range is a little lacking.

Alice

Alice in a rather effective attempt at grabbing the camera's attention.

George, look at the camera

George has obviously seen something more important than a photo op. Presumably some more confetti.

That's better

George now play along for the photo, presumably so he can be allowed to go somewhere else.

Holly & Daniel

Holly and Daniel outside the registry office.

Penelope

Penny bemoans the lack of cameras in her direction, as she attempts to once again steal the limelight from the people getting married (which is all just an elaborate ruse to get pictures of cute kids).

Oh noes, confetti

The confetti assault claims another victim.

Facepalm

I'm not sure what caused it, but this is a perfect facepalm from George.

The Bride

The Bride looking radiant, incandescent, you know, the usual things brides look.

Groom

The groom looking... well, it's too late, she's married him now.

Escape

The bride and groom make a last-ditched attempt at escaping from the rest of the rabble. Alas, it was unsuccessful.

Crossing the road

The bride crosses a road as we make our way to Richmond Green.

The bouquet

Normally the bride is supposed to throw the bouquet. Here, the groom is using it for effective cover.

George

George enjoying ice cream.

The Happy Couple

Rob and Holly share a grin as they wait for the inevitable onslaught of camera shutters.

Still a happy couple

The happy couple continue to be happy.

The Bouquet of Mystery

Rob and Holly try hiding behind the bouquet. Unfortunately, the groom is somewhat of a lanky tart and the attempt is less than successful.

Going with the Flow

The bride and groom give up and let the cameras go crazy.

Family of the Groom

The family of the groom. If this were Facebook everyone would be tagged and you'd know who they were. Unfortunately the groom is blinking and no-one is actually looking at the camera.

Better

Right. Now everyone is looking at the camera but the groom is pulling a funny face and Astrid seems offended by something.

Better still

Good, everyone's looking in roughly the right direction, no silly faces, and - oh, Gareth...

Almost there

Right, well most people are looking at the right camera and smiling appropriately. Unfortunately the groom's head doesn't appear to be on straight and Astrid seems wholly distracted by something in the grass. A hungry, hungry caterpillar, perhaps.

That'll do

Ah, sod it. That's good enough.

Are we done now?

The groom's family look around for signs that they're allowed to leave.

Astrid

Astrid loses interest in the whole operation.

Groom's parents

The happy couple with the groom's parents.

Catalogue pose

I'm not sure what's going on the the left of this image but it must be incredibly interesting.

Groom's Immediate Family

The groom and his parents are joined by his brother.

Alice and Matthew

Alice and Matthew share some ice cream. With each other. I don't recall being offered any. Were you offered any?

Penelope

Penny has another go at attention-grabbing.

Oi!

The bride reminds her father - who I believe took this picture - that he actually has to be in a couple of them.

Bride's parents

The bride's parents get their turn in the spotlight. Whoever took this photo was a bit distracted by the sky. Whoever is in this photo is once again looking in the wrong bleedin' direction.

Again, better

They now make a better effort at looking towards the camera. Not a great effort. But a better effort.

Getting Silly

Now now now, this is just getting silly.

Smelling the roses

Fine, not roses. Sunflowers.

The three... sisters

Yep. Sisters. Definitely sisters. There's no other noun that could possibly fit there.

The Sisters

The bride and her sisters. Well, two out of three looking at the right camera ain't bad.

Bride and her family

The groom is told to bugger off as he is making everyone else look like shortarses.

Bride's family

The bride is joined by her sisters.

Children Wrangling

Valiant but potentially futile attempts are made at getting the children in the right sort of places for an effective photo.

Success?

It is mostly successful.

Penelope's increasing boredom

Penny is getting increasingly bored of this and now appears to be threatening to leave entirely.

Daddy is best

The children are now in the right place, but the groom has resorted to strangling the bride and Matt seems to have gotten confused over the concept of the family photos.

Friends

The friends of the bride and groom get there chance in the spotlight.

Smiles all round

The friends share a laugh. Wait, where are the groom's hands?

MySpace Shot

Ah yes. The obligatory MySpace shot. Wait, is MySpace even still around?

Back to being silly

If in doubt, muck about.

Penelope

Penny once again wins over a camera.

Penny

...and continues to win it over...

Penny

... trying out a variety of poses...

Lift

.... until the bride and groom resort to desperate measures to get the attention back on them again.

Awww

It's all so cute you could almost vomit.

Lifting the bride

Now he's got her there, the groom has no idea what to do with her.

The Bride

The bride with a grin on her face.

Ryn and Matt

Ryn and Matt staring, presumably, at some children. In the background, the groom quietly wonders where in the heck he left his wife.

Visitor

The puppy with a balloon tied to it that visited our little party on the green.

Entourage

Everything the bride needs... sunglasses, bouquet, handbag, phone, and drink. Oh yes, drink.

Holly and Monica

Holly and Monica on the grass.

The happy couple

The happy couple, presumably discussing their future or some such thing. And what the heck else am I supposed to call them other than 'the happy couple' or 'Rob and Holly'?

Peck on the cheek

The groom gives his bride a kiss. Probably all just for the cameras.

A married kiss

The couple share a kiss. Does this feel a little wrong, watching them like this?

Drinks

Ah. Daniel shows up with much needed drinks. If the creators of the alcoholic beverage in question had paid us any money, we'd say what it is. But they didn't, so we won't.

Drinking

Now the happy couple are genuinely happy.

Like the old times

The happy couple drinking with Daniel like the old days.

Sweet drink passes the time

Rob and Holly wait for their dinner reservation.

Astrid

Astrid enjoying a back of crisps. I don't recall being offered any crisps.

Proud Parents

The parents of the groom.

Ryn and Matt

Ryn apparently attempting to smarten up Matt a little for the cameras. Good luck with that.

Jonny

The brother of the groom, looking ultimately uncomfortable and not entirely pleased with his surroundings.

Ewww

Ryn and Matt attempt to out-kiss the bride and groom.

Best Man

James returning with a drink and a purposeful walk. Actually he was probably already a bit drunk at this point.

Ryn and Matt

Now they're just playing up for the cameras. To be expected, I suppose.

Strangler

Matt has had enough and resorts to strangling Ryn. Admittedly, we've all wanted to do this at some point, haven't we?

More parents

The mother, mother-in-law and father of the groom look down on him as he takes this photo. To be fair, he is used to it, and it's not like it will be the last time.

Mothers chatting

Oh dear, that can't be good.

Blues Brother

Daniel, looking like a Blues Brother.

Ryn

Ryn looks unconvinced by whoever took this photo.

James and Gareth

No, not that James, the other James. They don't exactly look alike now, do they?

Shoes

A lot of fuss was made about the groom's choice of footwear for the day. Some were also surprised that the lanky tart somehow managed to find trousers long enough that he had to roll them up. This photo serves as evidence of these things.

The Groom

The groom in another one of those catalogue poses.

An assortment of People

Some of the quests hanging around enjoying the weather. You know who you are.

The wedding party

A wider shot of the wedding party on Richmond Green. For context, if you will.

Grinning bride

The Bride, looking happy on her day, She won't be quite as happy when she learns how many time I've nearly called her a bridge whilst writing these captions.

Tongue

That's either cute or rude. It depends on how you were raised, I guess.

Toasting Carol

Someone feels the need to toast Carol. Nice sky in this picture too.

Self Portrait

A self portrait of the bride, with the groom in the background. You can see she took this picture; it's reflected in her sunglasses.

Groom, duck

The groom decides to disguise himself as a duck.

Wagamama

We're in Wagamama now, ready to order. Getting everyone there was more of a faff than I care to recall.

Party hats

James starts to hoard party hats.

Parents of the Bride

The parents of the bride peruse the menu, find it full of foreign stuff.

Grrr-arrg

It's a Grrr-arrg, found, presumably, in the goodie bags, and not in the food.

Party Bag

A lineup of the contents of one of the party bags.

Bride and groom

The grin on the bride's face implies that she knows something the groom does not. Maybe she's put 'kick me' on his back (a futile gesture; nobody needs that kind of inspiration to kick him).

The Gerrards

Gareth, Astrid and Katie wait for lunch.

Good lord

Presumably, this is what you see if you wake up next to Rodrigo on Xmas morning.

Bride and Groom

The groom can't help but look a bit cheeky with a girl on his lap.

Back to being silly

So this is married life, is it? Sharing each others bogies?

Bride and Groom

Ah, a more normal photo of the couple. Look, they're even smiling.

James

James, the cousin of the groom.

Astrid

Astrid appears to be absorbing more of the gossip than she usually admits.

Who's that?

Whilst the groom entertains his guests, Lewis looks on from a distance.

Groom

The groom continues his story. Or whatever he way saying. Story sounds better than dirty limerick, so that's what I'm going with.

George and Matthew

Holly says a hello to George.

Wedding Cake

The wedding cake, adorned by two Spartans. Armed Spartans. There'll be no premature cutting of the cake here.

Wedding Cake 2

A wider shot of the wedding cake, revealing the additional Spartan defences.

Terri, Georgina and Terri

I hope I've got those names right, my wife isn't here to help me and they're her side of the family.

James and Rob

The best man and the groom share a drink now the worst of it is over.

Sisters

Ryn and Holly.

Bride

The bride laughing. How has her headpiece managed to stay on this long?

Rob and James

Rob and James enjoy a conversation.

The Groom's family

The groom, his dad and his brother. His dad appears to have fallen asleep.

Hitting the hard stuff

Penny turns to drink.

Propping up the bar

"I be real tired. It be real long day."

You

Rob delivers a warning for whoever took this shot.

Wistful

Rob remembers the old days, whilst James looks for help.

James again

Comparing this to the earlier photo of James from Wagamama, he seems to have gotten a little more paranoid.

Time stands still

Another favourite shot.

Catherine and Rob

Bloody gossips, probably talking shop. At a wedding!

Astrid

Astrid and her new panda, tearing it up on the dance floor.

The Groom

The groom, again. He certainly gets around, that lad.

Georgina

God, I hope I've got her name right or I am going to look so silly.

Rodrigo

Rodrigo, in his natural habitat - with food.

Father of the Bride

Is that really Steve Martin?

Dave

Wow, Dave scrubbed up pretty well.

Lee and Emily

Lee seems very happy to be here.

First Dance

Astrid makes an attempt at upstaging the first dance. Or maybe she thinks she can do better.

First Dance 2

The first dance continues.

Kiss

Aww. That's so sickening I think I might actually vomit. In fact, I threw up in my mouth a little.

First Dance

And now we see the practicalities of a couple trying to kiss when there's a foot in height difference between them.

Cutting the cake

They happy couple cut the cake.

The cake

In case there was any doubt, this is the most awesomest cake that ever existed - even including that one I dreamed about that came with Natalie Portman sitting on it.

Roy & Jayne

Roy and Jayne have arrived.

The groom and the cake

The groom enjoys the cake. The awesome, awesome cake. You haven't seen the inside yet, have you?

Dancing

The bride and her family get up, get down and boogie.

Matt Squared

The two Matts, unfortunately looking a little like 1970s uncles at a wedding.

The Aunts

The grooms aunts are conversing. "Where shall we three meet again?"

Chatting away

Holly and Georgina talking, presumably about things that interest girls. Ponies and things. I don't know, I don't understand girls.

Astrid

Astrid seems scandalised by something.

The party photo

The guest book, the party thingies.

Awesome don't quite cut it

I think that was a pun. Anyway, the inside of the most brilliant cake ever, made with love (and presumably some flour) by the best man.

Buffett

Whoever said there was no such thing as a free lunch never got invited to weddings. Unless they thought that the necessity of going to the wedding negated the 'free' part.

Auntie Rosemary

Rosemary offers her congratulations to the happy couple. In the background, James pretends to not be completely bladdered.

Still chatting

Holly continues her chatty with the girl whose name I'm not entirely sure about.

Just Married

Just in case there was any doubt as to why they were all there, there were some helpful balloons offering reminders.

Katie and Emily

Two of the already-married Howards (former Howards, I guess).

Here be pirates

Dave and Julia prepare to plunder the depths, or whatever it is pirates do.

Carol snaps

Carol with her trusty, trusty camera. She's photographing something other than the bride though... is that allowed?

Father of the Groom

The groom's father, looking very much like he is about to fuck some shit up.

The Howard Women

Well kind of, since two of them married out just before the last one married in. Still, you get the idea.

Lewis and the Kids

Honestly, this photograph didn't look this dodgy when we selected it.

Roy and Peter

The Howard boys.

Andrew

This would be one of those 'we wanted to have a photograph of everybody' photographs.

Hats off to the winner

Dave upstages James's earlier effort at attaching numerous party hats to his face. James informs me had he not been so drunk that he didn't notice, he would've been drunk enough to mount a counter challenge.

Yes Dear

Rob shows of the hilariously amusing t-shirt he had been wearing the whole day.

Yes Dear 2

Yeah, you think it's funny now. You wait till it's the only thing you say.

Rob & Gareth

Rob and Gareth talking about... who knows? I can't remember. Something fantastically intelligent, I'll wager.

Who's the man?

James reliably informs me he has no recollection of this photo being taken. I'm inclined to believe him.

Guess whose back

James stares down the camera as whoever took the photo decided to take a picture of Matt's back.

Dave, victorious

Dave was almost the ultimate champion of hat-wearing - if he hadn't prioritised his drink over putting one on his mouth.

Charlie

The balloons proved popular with the little ones. Here, Charlie finds one that matches his shirt.

Tiana

Tiana cheats at the hat game by stacking. Stacking's not allowed! Cheater!

Julia

Julia has just one hat, but it matches her jumper. How did we plan ahead that far?

Tiana

We end with Ti presenting her "can we go home yet?" face.