Finally, after quite a bit of photo wrangling and a few arguments with a web server, I can present the first wave of images from our wedding.
As those of you there will know, we decided against having an official photographer, and instead elected to have an official camera that people could use. We also asked that people send us their photos, or at least made them available online for us to grab. We will eventually get our favourites printed in a book.
The selection below is our shortlist for the book, based on the photos we have so far from the father of the bride Tony, Lewis (the best way I can think of describing him is as an interloper associated with the bride), and the official camera. Thanks to everyone for their pictures, we’re sorry we haven’t had a chance to get at most of the others yet!
We have selected most of these images based on their quality, and a few have been selected because we like what’s going on in them. We are also quite keen on ensuring we have a photograph of everyone who attended, so if you didn’t have the foresight to smile for the camera and take a decent photograph, then you might be in for a shock!
Also, apologies to those on a slow internet connection for the 192 thumbnails you are currently trying to load.
Matt taking a photo. He is now technically now a brother-in-law, although if you expect me to offer a relationship connection for everyone that turned up, you can go and... well, you know. Go.
Matthew and George
Matthew and George wait for the ceremony. I believe at this point the groom (yes I'm fully aware that's me) hadn't arrived yet.
The groom is here
Left to right: best man, groom, father of groom, brother of groom. They are admiring a camera.
Lewis gets in on the whole paparazzi thing. His attempt to sell the pictures to the Telegraph were largely unsuccessful.
Looking at the wrong camera
I very similar photo as before, only from a very slightly different angle. What James and Daniel don't realise is that, due to a slight clerical error, they are actually now legally married due to their names being on the wedding register.
The confetti flies over the happy couple. Either that, or something flew into a tree nearby.
George, look at the camera
George has obviously seen something more important than a photo op. Presumably some more confetti.
George now play along for the photo, presumably so he can be allowed to go somewhere else.
Penny bemoans the lack of cameras in her direction, as she attempts to once again steal the limelight from the people getting married (which is all just an elaborate ruse to get pictures of cute kids).
The bride and groom make a last-ditched attempt at escaping from the rest of the rabble. Alas, it was unsuccessful.
Normally the bride is supposed to throw the bouquet. Here, the groom is using it for effective cover.
The Happy Couple
Rob and Holly share a grin as they wait for the inevitable onslaught of camera shutters.
The Bouquet of Mystery
Rob and Holly try hiding behind the bouquet. Unfortunately, the groom is somewhat of a lanky tart and the attempt is less than successful.
Family of the Groom
The family of the groom. If this were Facebook everyone would be tagged and you'd know who they were. Unfortunately the groom is blinking and no-one is actually looking at the camera.
Right. Now everyone is looking at the camera but the groom is pulling a funny face and Astrid seems offended by something.
Good, everyone's looking in roughly the right direction, no silly faces, and - oh, Gareth...
Right, well most people are looking at the right camera and smiling appropriately. Unfortunately the groom's head doesn't appear to be on straight and Astrid seems wholly distracted by something in the grass. A hungry, hungry caterpillar, perhaps.
I'm not sure what's going on the the left of this image but it must be incredibly interesting.
Alice and Matthew
Alice and Matthew share some ice cream. With each other. I don't recall being offered any. Were you offered any?
The bride reminds her father - who I believe took this picture - that he actually has to be in a couple of them.
The bride's parents get their turn in the spotlight. Whoever took this photo was a bit distracted by the sky. Whoever is in this photo is once again looking in the wrong bleedin' direction.
They now make a better effort at looking towards the camera. Not a great effort. But a better effort.
The three... sisters
Yep. Sisters. Definitely sisters. There's no other noun that could possibly fit there.
Bride and her family
The groom is told to bugger off as he is making everyone else look like shortarses.
Valiant but potentially futile attempts are made at getting the children in the right sort of places for an effective photo.
Penelope's increasing boredom
Penny is getting increasingly bored of this and now appears to be threatening to leave entirely.
Daddy is best
The children are now in the right place, but the groom has resorted to strangling the bride and Matt seems to have gotten confused over the concept of the family photos.
.... until the bride and groom resort to desperate measures to get the attention back on them again.
Ryn and Matt
Ryn and Matt staring, presumably, at some children. In the background, the groom quietly wonders where in the heck he left his wife.
Everything the bride needs... sunglasses, bouquet, handbag, phone, and drink. Oh yes, drink.
The happy couple
The happy couple, presumably discussing their future or some such thing. And what the heck else am I supposed to call them other than 'the happy couple' or 'Rob and Holly'?
Ah. Daniel shows up with much needed drinks. If the creators of the alcoholic beverage in question had paid us any money, we'd say what it is. But they didn't, so we won't.
Ryn and Matt
Ryn apparently attempting to smarten up Matt a little for the cameras. Good luck with that.
The brother of the groom, looking ultimately uncomfortable and not entirely pleased with his surroundings.
James returning with a drink and a purposeful walk. Actually he was probably already a bit drunk at this point.
Matt has had enough and resorts to strangling Ryn. Admittedly, we've all wanted to do this at some point, haven't we?
The mother, mother-in-law and father of the groom look down on him as he takes this photo. To be fair, he is used to it, and it's not like it will be the last time.
A lot of fuss was made about the groom's choice of footwear for the day. Some were also surprised that the lanky tart somehow managed to find trousers long enough that he had to roll them up. This photo serves as evidence of these things.
An assortment of People
Some of the quests hanging around enjoying the weather. You know who you are.
The Bride, looking happy on her day, She won't be quite as happy when she learns how many time I've nearly called her a bridge whilst writing these captions.
A self portrait of the bride, with the groom in the background. You can see she took this picture; it's reflected in her sunglasses.
We're in Wagamama now, ready to order. Getting everyone there was more of a faff than I care to recall.
Bride and groom
The grin on the bride's face implies that she knows something the groom does not. Maybe she's put 'kick me' on his back (a futile gesture; nobody needs that kind of inspiration to kick him).
The groom continues his story. Or whatever he way saying. Story sounds better than dirty limerick, so that's what I'm going with.
The wedding cake, adorned by two Spartans. Armed Spartans. There'll be no premature cutting of the cake here.
Terri, Georgina and Terri
I hope I've got those names right, my wife isn't here to help me and they're her side of the family.
Comparing this to the earlier photo of James from Wagamama, he seems to have gotten a little more paranoid.
Astrid makes an attempt at upstaging the first dance. Or maybe she thinks she can do better.
Aww. That's so sickening I think I might actually vomit. In fact, I threw up in my mouth a little.
And now we see the practicalities of a couple trying to kiss when there's a foot in height difference between them.
In case there was any doubt, this is the most awesomest cake that ever existed - even including that one I dreamed about that came with Natalie Portman sitting on it.
The groom and the cake
The groom enjoys the cake. The awesome, awesome cake. You haven't seen the inside yet, have you?
Holly and Georgina talking, presumably about things that interest girls. Ponies and things. I don't know, I don't understand girls.
Awesome don't quite cut it
I think that was a pun. Anyway, the inside of the most brilliant cake ever, made with love (and presumably some flour) by the best man.
Whoever said there was no such thing as a free lunch never got invited to weddings. Unless they thought that the necessity of going to the wedding negated the 'free' part.
Rosemary offers her congratulations to the happy couple. In the background, James pretends to not be completely bladdered.
Just in case there was any doubt as to why they were all there, there were some helpful balloons offering reminders.
Carol with her trusty, trusty camera. She's photographing something other than the bride though... is that allowed?
The Howard Women
Well kind of, since two of them married out just before the last one married in. Still, you get the idea.
Hats off to the winner
Dave upstages James's earlier effort at attaching numerous party hats to his face. James informs me had he not been so drunk that he didn't notice, he would've been drunk enough to mount a counter challenge.
Rob & Gareth
Rob and Gareth talking about... who knows? I can't remember. Something fantastically intelligent, I'll wager.
Who's the man?
James reliably informs me he has no recollection of this photo being taken. I'm inclined to believe him.
Guess whose back
James stares down the camera as whoever took the photo decided to take a picture of Matt's back.
Dave was almost the ultimate champion of hat-wearing - if he hadn't prioritised his drink over putting one on his mouth.
The balloons proved popular with the little ones. Here, Charlie finds one that matches his shirt.
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